Confidence. It’s something that many of us, if not all, inevitably struggle with. Our childhood classroom walls are plastered with posters that read “Believe in yourself.” Ironically, these are the same rooms that can hold the memories of bullying, othering, and dreams broken. We grow up thinking that confidence is a place where only the strong and talented arrive. So, what is confidence and how can you have it for yourself?
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The Struggle
If you are anything like me, then you have probably struggled with confidence for most of your life. A battle with insecurities and identity created in me a confidence deficiency. Whenever there is a deficiency in our body, we try to supplement to fill in the gap. So what do we try to supplement when we are running low on confidence? Perhaps perfection, dependency or even over correction. Because I’m not a “fake-it-til-you-make-it” kind of girl, I knew I needed to uncover what confidence was for myself.
How I Define Confidence
Over the years, the concept of confidence has evolved for me, and I think that it has been a beautiful evolution. I am learning that confidence is the awareness and acceptance of all of who I am in the different seasons of my life. That looks like examining what I believe to be my strengths and my weaknesses. It is also the acknowledgment of growth and the commitment to change even in the face of adversity. I like to say that I am a recovering perfectionist. So, confidence for me is also the willingness to let go of perfection, and simply embrace the journey. The way I have begun to practice confidence is not dependent on a particular outcome. Rather it is the way I journey through the experience.
The Ultimate Confidence
I don’t think I would have arrived at this understanding had it not been for my walk with God. Because ultimately my confidence problem was an identity problem. But once I began to study and ACCEPT that I truly am made in HIS image, am called for HIS purpose, am loved even in my brokenness, and called a DAUGHTER and FRIEND, then and only then was I able to walk in confidence. The confidence was no longer about a singular look or achievement but about my surrender to look more like Him. Confidence was no longer about performance but a heart stance. From this place, I lead with love, excellence and a desire to steward well.
“If I placed my confidence in gold or called fine gold my trust, if I have rejoiced because my wealth is great or because my own hand has acquired so much, if I have gazed at the sun when it was shining or at the moon moving in splendor, so that my heart was secretly enticed and I threw them a kiss, this would also be an iniquity deserving punishment, for I would have denied God above.”
Confidence Comes From Within
The biggest mindset shift that I needed to adopt is that confidence comes from within. Whether I’m up or down, winning or losing, I have the same assurance and I trust in the same God. I have the certainty to know that I am fully equipped and covered to walk out any season of my life. When I make a mistake, I know that I can turn it around. I also know that there is a lesson to be learned and wisdom that can be gained. For suffering produces endurance.
I’m all about shifting perspectives because if I don’t, then I will dig myself into a rabbit hole of grief, regret, agony, and disappointment. I can tell you from experience, that is such a sad and dark place to be. I don’t want to live there and I don’t want you to rest there either. Confidence is about embracing each and every moment with an open heart that is willing to learn, love, and grow. Because ultimately, our confidence should be in Him. So today, I encourage you to discover what confidence truly means to you.
With Love,
Tamara
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